Apparently Vini Samuel was absent the year they taught charm in Charm School. Ditto the lecture in Duh 101.
In her epistle of November 27, 2013 to Grays Harbor County Commissioners Wes Cormier, Herb Welch and Frank Gordon, Prosecuting Attorney appointee and former Grays Harbor Democratic Party Chair Samuel pulls out all the stops. Sprouting accusations, assumptions and threats like bunting on a July 4th bandstand, the bulk of Samuel’s delightful missive blasts everything from motives to hidden agendas to shadowy penumbra to beachfront property in Barstow to the price of tea in China.
Demonstrating why petulant and pompous always trump reason and rationale, Samuel sputters on for over 1,000 charming words to sort of, but not really explain her reasons for declining the appointment. (Tip: If you’re not interested in serving, then don’t allow your name to be placed on the slate in the first place. Duh.) So, let’s connect a few dots ourselves, shall we?
Can We Get Stadium Seating?
Take Samuel’s opening. She starts by expressing her “appreciation to the Grays Harbor Democrats for their placement of my name on the list to the county.” Conspicuous by its absence is the usual nod to the addressees. Most first graders learn to thank the primary recipients for their time and attention up front. Samuel’s refusal to do so is a clue. It’s also consistent with her conduct at the County Commissioners’ November 25 afternoon meeting. (Can we get stadium seating and popcorn for the next round?)
Bow-Wow and Whinny-Whinny
That afternoon “dog and pony show” was clearly a power struggle between Samuel and the commissioners. The latter should be commended for their restraint. Then there’s that “patience of Job” thing. Purple hearts… Medals of Freedom… Nobel Peace Prizes…
Among other things, Samuel prickled like a porcupine when Commissioner Frank Gordon asked her for a simple yes or no on her nomination. Tap-dancing like Ginger Rogers on steroids, Samuels refused to answer. Instead, she insisted on reiterating her “Why did you pick me?” questions rather than responding to a direct question by a sitting Democrat commissioner.
Samuels’ letter continues:
“The lack of contact by any of the commissioners prior to appointing me is a huge factor in my decision… If you wanted me to be your attorney, you needed to talk to me. Your failure to do so spoke louder than any quotes you made to the press.”
Come on, counselor. We’re pretty sure that contacting a county commissioner isn’t a hanging offense. In fact, all three commissioners are exceptionally approachable. It’s not like they’re hiding or hard to find. Obviously, the same can’t be said for you.
Newsflash: Contact/communication is usually a two-way street – unless you’re a Democrat looking to do what Dems do best: pick someone else’s pocket. But there’s this thing called a phone. Maybe you’ve heard of it? Basically, it goes like this: You pick up the receiver, dial, and wait for the other person to answer. They pick up. Then you have a conversation. It works pretty much the same way on your average mobile device. Oh yeah, there’s also this cool thing called email. Also texting. They allow anyone to contact anyone almost instantly. If you’re a real dinosaur, there’s also a FAX machine and the good ‘ole U.S. Postal Service. And feet. Also carrier pigeons, pony express, smoke signals…
The point is, if Samuel was serious about “having her questions answered,” why not simply pick up the phone/computer/carrier pigeon and ask herself? Because that simple solution wouldn’t provide the opportunity to saber rattle and stir threats of a lawsuit into the mix? (Oh, and that Spencer OIDV from 2005? Really? From the party of Weiner, Spitzer, Filner, Clinton, and the Chappaquiddick Kid?)
Samuel tips her hand in paragraph seven, where she reveals the real reason she declined the appointment:
“You also act (sic) hastily without good information, such as when Commissioner Gordon and others were wrong to say I could keep my law practice while serving as a “temporary, caretaker prosecutor.” State law says I would have to shut down my practice, lay off my staff and serve as a full-time prosecutor. After that, you expected me to step down and restart my practice, at considerable expense.”
It’s always heartening to hear that an attorney applying for a legal job has no clue what said job entails – and has apparently never bothered to check until after the fact.
As for the rest? Don’t look now, but a Democrat is actually concerned about her own wallet. Wow. And we thought capitalism and a healthy bottom line were exclusive to those eeeevil Republicans. What, there’s not some Organizing for America operative somewhere who can figure out a way to separate more tax payers from their money to help cushion that “considerable expense”? Are DemoLibs losing their touch? (Bonus points: Grays Harbor Democrats have reportedly disavowed their own commissioner. Way to go, Ds!)
There may be a silver lining here after all.
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