But Wait. For Only $17B More, You Get a Set of Free Shun Shima Steak Knives!

Ah, DemoLib messaging. With the possible exception of Dickens (see below), it’s some of the best cheap entertainment around.  Take the missive below. It’s from a March 14 email supposedly from BarackObama.com (But not really. We’ll get to that in a minute). My comments appear in regular font, in bold. But first, Dickens. (You’ll get this, but only if you read the post in full.)

———-ORIGINAL MESSAGE———-

From: Neeti Kaur, BarackObama.com

Subject: Just 11 donations from your area

Friend —

Now that’s one humdinger of an assumption.

There’s no way to put this gently.

Oh, happy day!

I spent the last week poring over the books and crunching the numbers, and I’ve come to the conclusion that we’re just about 10,000 donations away from where we need to be in our final push for health care.

Luckily, that boils down to just 11 donations from a town like yours.

Don’t gag on the Kool Aid here. If you go to BarackObama.com and click “continue to website” at the bottom, watch the re-direct. Yeah.

Chip in $5 or more today, and help fund OFA’s big last push for health care.

Donate by midnight and for just $17B more, we’ll throw in a *free* set of Shun Shima steak knives!

Our strategy here is aggressive, because that’s what it’s going to take to make sure Americans without insurance know what it takes to get covered.

Too bad they weren’t as “aggressive” in making sure Americans with insurance can keep their healthcare plan if they like their healthcare plan. On the flip side: If this is OFA’s “last big push” over the healthcare cliff, do you think they’ll stay down there?

We spent the last few months gearing up — hiring staff, recruiting tens of thousands of volunteers, and training grassroots organizers to go all in over the next 19 days.

Well, shoot. Too bad they didn’t spend the last few months designing a web site that does something besides hiccup and stare back at you blankly.

But hark! What “Neeti” is really sayin’ here is this: Since Babalu Barry’s “signature legislation” is breaking downward death spiral records daily – kinda like his presidency – DemoLibs have to hire and recruit people to con Americans into signing up for something many don’t want, don’t need, and/or can’t afford.

Be still my heart.

That kind of work depends on people like you getting involved, however you can.

Get many visitors this far from Planet Earth?

I’m staring down a budget that needs your help today — donate $5 or more right now: https://donate.barackobama.com/Last-Call-2014

Thanks,

Neeti Kaur

Chief Financial Officer
Organizing for Action

Yo, Captainette Obvious:

  • If Obummercare’s so great, why do you need to raise money to fund people whose job is to con others into signing up?
  • Google “Neeti Kaur,” (I’ll wait.)  Now. Google hiccups aside, what’re the odds this is a real person or something out of Fantasyland? If the latter, why?
  • This just gets better and better.
  • Where can I get my steak knives?
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