‘Koch Brothers Exposed’: Grab Your Scuba Gear and Hip Waders (Part 2 of 2)

Continued from previous post:

Ward Churchill. Bernadine Dohrn. Kathy Boudin. Bill Ayres. Susan Rosenberg.

Leave your whoopee cushion at home for “Universities With Koch Foundation Grants.” You won’t need it. The cushion, that is. The slant of this segment is masterfully summed up by Prof John C. Bednar of Clemson University. “They (the Koch bros) are a major threat to the country, not just to the education system or the students” whines the good professor.

 Imagine. A couple of conservatives trying to make a dent in the onslaught of liberal progressivism rolling over your average college campus! May day! May day! Code red! We’re all going to dieeeee….

Bednar continues, straight-faced, “This is a major threat to our way of life.” Exactly whose “way of life” is threatened and how, Bednar declines to expound. No worries. He wraps up  his Chicken Little diatribe with a whopper that takes the hypocrisy cake:

“They’re trying to use their money to influence the flow of American democracy.”

Unlike George Soros, right?

The Koch Industries is one of the top 10 polluters in the country portion is simply delish. Those nasty Kochs are accused of everything short of orchestrating the Second Coming. The list includes getting rid of “onerous regulations” – gadzooks! – and “buying a Congress” that’s tried to “gut” environmental regulations “across the board.” Other heinous Koch sins include backing legislation to eviscerate environmental regulations and “destroy the EPA.” Exposed even trots out Harvard Law Professor Lawrence Lessig. With much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, Lessig bemoans the Koch brothers’ horrendous habit of “try(ing) to use their enormous wealth to influence public policy in a way that benefits them but doesn’t necessarily benefit the public.”

Apparently Sandra Fluke could not be reached for comment.

 Those “carbon baron” Kochs are so bad, alleges one dude in the pollution segment, they’re “Big Oil personified.” They make most of their money – are you ready? – “running pipelines across the country.” Why, they may even be connected to the eeeevil fossil fuel industry.

Van Jones is simply hilarious in the Keystone/Enviro segment, as is washed-up media hate speech spewer Ed Schultz. Hint: The Koch brothers aren’t just eeeevil capitalists, they’re criminals and murderers, too. BTW, what the heck is an “environmental criminologist”?

Similar deep-sea diving surrounds the Koch’s alleged involvement with the Keystone Pipeline. I could go into that, but if you’ve read this far you’re probably one smart cookie. So I’ll do something Greenwald and Co. won’t: Trust you to get the drift without a government program.

Meanwhile, the Koch political machine doesn’t just buy influence in Congress, says Exposed, it also reaches into state capitols across the country, attempting to destroy “unions and go(ing) after workers” in – tada! – Wisconsin.

You knew that was coming, right? And boy, oh boy, are those Looney Lefties ever sweating bullets over Americans for Prosperity. Geez Louise. AFPers have the unmitigated gall to take part in the political process in Wisconsin, too!

What is this country coming to?!

 The anti-Walker segment features “Koch brothers impersonator” Ian Murphy. Murph reports on an alleged phone conversation he had with Gov. Scott Walker, whom Murph the Oracle dubs an “older, rich, terrible white person.” All this in one brief call.

Is Guinness still tallying up world records?

Mr. BEAST editor misrepresents his identity in order to snag said alleged phone conversation. And while no hard evidence regarding the identity of the person on the other end of the line is ever provided, Murph said it, so let’s take it as gospel.

Not surprisingly, this segment also mentions the recall Walker effort backed by unions and Democrats. It conveniently omits the fact that it failed. The rest looks like this:

Just when you’re ready to hop the next boat to pretty much anywhere, Exposed explodes over voter ID requirements. Nothing new here. Appearing on-camera to bemoan the hardships of obtaining a state-issued ID in order to vote are a disabled man, a woman with “glitches” is her birth cert, and a male student living in a college dorm who’s apparently never heard of absentee ballots.

Another woman decries “ambushes” over voter ID, “voter registration restrictions across the country” and attempts to “disenfranchise voters” across the country. The connected dots: Koch-brother funded “voter suppression tactics” are allegedly directed at the disabled, the elderly, young people, Latinos, and African-Americans. She forgot to mention dead people.

If 52 minutes of this sort of stuff isn’t enough to make your teeth ache, Exposed finally expires with, “We’re not going to be fooled anymore.” Good. Because anyone who’s even vaguely familiar with Saul Alinsky can recognize a propaganda campaign when they see it, especially when Greenwald, the DNC, Organizing for America and local DemoLib parties are all on the same slam the Kochs page – at virtually the same time.

Meanwhile, Q: what’s even funnier than this www.disinfo.com product, aka, the Goebbels Institute? A: Anyone who left their scuba gear and waders at home and is swimming neck-deep in this stuff.  Kinda like Grays Harbor DemoLibs, who hosted a screening of Exposed in Hoquiam on June 29.

Do they get bonus points for BYO tin foil and secret agent decoder rings?