Montesano Media and the Dread Pirate Roberts


We like to share the love here at Conservelocity. We not only love Prince Valiant, formerly of The Vidette, we also love his sidekick at Montesano Today, affectionately dubbed Dread Pirate Roberts.

Remember Dread Pirate’s October 19 post, City of Montesano goes on Witch hunt – wants Council Member Salzer’s home computer, private cell phone to search? One might discern that said post was related to my October public records requests per Montesano City Council Member Marisa Salzer and interpretive services. Or something.

If you don’t remember that post, don’t feel bad. It was up for about a nano-second before it was removed. Not to fret. Yours truly was a Girl Scout. Before the post went the way of Dodos or Dread Pirates, I printed off a hard copy. See below.

WH 2

WH 4

And yes, dear readers, if Dread Pirate Roberts couldn’t get a name right, you may well wonder what else he got wrong. Short answer: Plenty. (He’s not alone. More on that in a minute.) Like the howler implying that yours truly was somehow asked to “write the city a letter and demand they confiscate every cell phone of the Montesano City Council, the Mayor, city staff, … and … wait for it… and have a policemen (sic) go to their homes and take their personal computer.” (‘Scuse me. I’m laughing so hard, I lost my place. Okay. I’m back. Sorry.)

Folks, this is straight out of Yellow Paint La-La Land. An attempt to summon images of city goon squads battering down the hapless council member’s door in the dead of night.

And I thought Westley was good.


Not to be outdone, Prince Valiant similarly misrepresented my PRRs in his October 23 editorial. More than once. Like, “A second request asks for all written ‘communiques’ Salzer has ever produced. Ever.” (para. 4.).

Protestations aside, this is called hogwash. Or something more colorful. See below.

Not to be outdone again, again, instead of simply quoting from the original document, our fair prince writes, (para. 10): “Somehow, Lowder can make a records request for every ‘communiqué’ ever produced by a councilwoman, which gets an order by the city attorney to provide it, but I ask for just one month’s worth of email between the mayor and city administrator and it was never made available?” (Emphasis mine.)

For the gazillionth time, here’s the actual text of the PRRs referenced (both appear in Dan Glenn’s memo, below):

“All emails and other written communiqués by Council Member Marisa Salzer related to interpretive services.”

Here’s the follow-up:

“All records related to Marisa Salzer from March 1, 2014, to present: Emails, text messages and city & personal P.C. City policies and user agreements signed by Salzer.”

Nice try.

As for that mayor/city admin. “never made available” email thing? I asked about that specifically. The mayor said, “There was none and he (PV) was told that.” The mayor and city admin. talk. As in, verbal. Hello?

Same thing in para 11 of Princely’s October ed: “… but this obviously broad-brushed records request made by Lowder received an order from the city attorney to turn over her personal computer and cell phone?” (Emphasis mine).

Naw. Read Glenn’s memo yourself.

Glenn Oct. 14

Glen Oct. 14 pg. 2

Not to beat a dead horse here or anything, but check the 22nd para. in the editorial: “”Ms. Lowder is seeking everything written by Ms. Salzer.”

Nice try. Again. What I actually asked for, again: “All records related to Marisa Salzer from March 1, 2014 to present: Emails, text messages and city & personal P.C. City policies and user agreements signed by Salzer.”

Sorry to rain on your witch hunt(s).


Only in the Tilt-a-Whirl spin world of pirate ships and Westley-waiting does a simple public records request or an FYI/request (para. 4) letter translate into “demand,” “confiscate,” “have a policemen (sic) go to their homes and take their personal computer,” an “order,” jack-booted thuggery, or dark dealings in the dead of night.

Maybe we can sell tickets?






2 thoughts on “Montesano Media and the Dread Pirate Roberts

  1. In my opinion the “Montesano Today” column and blog, as well as the Vidette in general, under Prince Valiant’s reign, is a wealth of misinformation.


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