FRIDAY FUN: The Most Important New Law of 2015

Public domain
Public domain

Well, good golly Miss Molly, it’s January! That means a whole raft of new laws just went into effect.  If you want to know what the most important new law of 2015 is, we’ve gotcha covered. (For a quick rundown of the good, the bad, and the just plain weird, like food police in Seattle, click here.)

Effective 01 January 2015, New York has made it illegal to take a selfie with big cats. Read: Lions, tigers, jaguars, cougars and leopards, etc., oh my! Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo signed legislation in August making it illegal for fairs and circuses to make their tigers — and other big cats, such as lions and cheetahs — available for photographs in the Big Apple.

The law was sponsored by Assemblywoman Linda Rosenthal, D-Manhattan. An “enthusiatic animal rights supporter,” Rosenthal said the law “will not only protect humans from attack but also stop the animals from being exploited.” We’d include a photo of the good Assemblywoman, but we don’t want to scare you. Oh, alright:

Commenting on the “tiger selfie bill,” Rosenthal also said, “I guess some young men in New York will have to find another game, because big cat selfies, along with direct contact with big cats, is now prohibited.” Proving that Nancy Pelosi can indeed clone herself, the assemblywoman also informs the rest of us peons that “big cats have instincts to kill.”

Apparently this is news.

No word yet on what the big cats think about this. Or whether Rosenthal will sponsor a similar measure requiring abortion clinics to be held to basic health and safety standards.

Now, why is the “tiger selfie bill” the most important new law of 2015? It would take an ocean of ink to explore that question fully. So let’s narrow it down to two main reasons:

  • The tiger selfie law is a sterling example of what happens when nanny state DemoLibs get free rein/reign/rain. (That, and Detroit. And food police.)
  • This law will protect stupid people from getting too close to a big cat and getting eaten, thus preserving a supply of stupid people to do other stupid things. Like back Bill de Blasio. Watch The View. Re-elect Rosenthal.

So rest assured, America, we may have a president who seems primed to set new records in end-running around Congress, time on the links, shredding the Constitution, emboldening our enemies and ensuring our southern border leaks like a sieve. But the same party that gave us Obama and Detroit will also make sure that stupid people in New York will be preserved for posterity.

Don’t you feel better now?

 

 

Tiger photo credit: Public domain.

Rosenthal photo credit: Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. Author: Jerrold Nadler.

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