EXCLUSIVE: Text of Obama’s State of the Union Address


You don’t have to wait till tonight to hear President AWOL’s State of the Union address. Conservelocity has obtained an advance copy. Here’s a sneak peak, straight from the White House.*

… Just pour me a drink and I’ll tell you some lies
I got nothing to lose…

First, they say they want you
How they really need you
Suddenly you find you’re out there
Walking in a storm…


What’re the odds that Obama will trot out James Taylor to warm up the crowd, pre-address? Then we’ll know for sure that whenever we “call” on ‘em, the prez and his policies are our friends and will come running.

Feel better now?


* Naw. Not really.