EXCLUSIVE: Text of Obama’s State of the Union Address

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You don’t have to wait till tonight to hear President AWOL’s State of the Union address. Conservelocity has obtained an advance copy. Here’s a sneak peak, straight from the White House.*

… Just pour me a drink and I’ll tell you some lies
I got nothing to lose…

First, they say they want you
How they really need you
Suddenly you find you’re out there
Walking in a storm…

 

What’re the odds that Obama will trot out James Taylor to warm up the crowd, pre-address? Then we’ll know for sure that whenever we “call” on ‘em, the prez and his policies are our friends and will come running.

Feel better now?

 

* Naw. Not really.

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