Someone Needs a Mommy Very Badly: 7 Reasons Why Woman HAD to Text During National Anthem

Someone needs a mommy very badly. Tweedledee and Tweedledum* are usually jockeying for that honor. But this time a member of the White House Press Corps nipped ’em at the wire. Check out what this Media Chick from The Washington Post is doing during the National Anthem at Saturday’s White House Correspondents ‘Nerd Prom’:

I bet you’re wondering what was more important and pressing  than respecting the flag, the Anthem, the country, and pretty much everyone else in the room at that moment. What message was so dad blame compelling that it couldn’t wait till “the home of the brave” faded?

Well, class, wonder no more. Here are my top seven picks for messages that must’ve prevented Ms. Text During the Anthem from not texting during the National Anthem:

  • Hillary, they found the server.
  • Michelle, where’s the beef?
  • Loretta Lynch is rolling back what?
  • The ISIS table is over there, sweetie, next to the fire extinguisher.
  • A ‘big boom’ over Baghdad? When?
  • Well golly Moses and glory be, the flag is still there!
  • Amir Hekmati and Pastor Saeed Abedini have finally been freed from Iranian prisons?! They’re on their way home??? Thank you, Bibi Netanyahu!



* Ms. Why Did You Pick Me? Prosecutorial Drop-Out and sidekick Prince Valiant/Charming/Vini Lite, formerly of The Vidette.