Montesano’s Tempest In a Tree Pot & Flying Pigs

Montesano Flag Carrier

So Montesano Public Works had the temerity to notice that some brainless wonder placed three screws into a living tree in order to secure a bracket for a flag. This occurred at Bryan Park over the Memorial Day weekend. To make matters worse, the city actually reported this on its Facebook page. It actually asked people to report any leads or tips to the police. It actually took its job of protecting public property seriously.

Oh, the horror!

At least that’s the chorus coming from the Amen Corner of Club Chihuahua. They’re barking out another page from their charm hymnal: Applauding flag bracketeer Dan Wood while lambasting the city for mole-hilling-into mountains.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle singed.

While the intent behind the inappropriate placement of the flag on a living tree may have been noble, your average second grader can probably tell you that tree-zapping on public property without permission isn’t a great idea. At least they could before Common Core. Or surplussed paint sprayers.

Sure as night follows day, the Pooh-Pooh Parade (that’s not a typo) went postal, jumping to Wood’s defense for what might be characterized as an “honest oops” on his part. Funny. These are some of the same Bows Wows who landed on Mayor Estes like a ton of bricks over another honest oops when a link to his campaign web site appeared on the same Facebook page by accident. For about a nano-second before it was pulled.

Selective outrage much? But wait. It gets better.

Never one to miss choir practice (even though he’s no longer a Harborite and is thus riding the rim edge of Who Cares?), Pound Puppy Propaganda Prince Friederich/Vini Lite picked up the link refrain. He tried trumpeting it all over the air waves last Tuesday. Poor Princely seemed genuinely surprised when it fell flat. BTW, sweetie, how’s that Estes endorsement comin’?

Mark it: There’s one person and only one person who’s the proximate cause of this trumped-up flag drama: Danny I’m not a vet and don’t have a clue how to properly display a flag Woodsy. He could’ve avoided the whole brouhaha by doing what your average second grader would: Ask first. Duh. But that wouldn’t have scored political points with the Bow Wow Brigade. Or given Wood another Poo-Poo Platform (that’s still not a typo). And that’s the whole idea, isn’t it?

So, inquiring minds want to know: Is Wood really about honoring veterans, or something else?

Anywho, I’m willing to chalk up Mr. Wood’s tree-zapping to an honest oops if Club Chihuahua and Co. will do likewise with the campaign link.

Keep an eye out for flying pigs.