‘Ban It Fever’ & A New Lib Theme Song

Ban It! Fever is running rampant across the Fruited Plain. Unless you’ve been in a cave or a coma lately, you’re likely aware of the furor that has erupted over the “Confederate Flag” as it allegedly relates to Dylann Roof’s motive for killing nine people in a Charleston, SC church last month. Sure as night follows day, the  knee-jerk lib reaction was what it always is: Ban It! Remove it. Take it down. And so on.

The South Carolina Senate voted to remove the flag from the South Carolina capitol grounds yesterday.

A few observations.

First off, the flag thing gets a little confusing. There were several national flag designs that served as the official national flags of the Confederate States of America. But the flag that’s causing  the “ban it” brouhaha isn’t the official “Confederate Flag.” It’s the battle flag of the Army of Northern Virginia:

 

The flag below was the official flag of the Confederacy from March 1861 to May of 1863. Known as the “Stars and Bars,” it was designed by Prussian artist Nicola Marschall in Marion, Alabama. The Stars and Bars flag was adopted March 4, 1861 in Montgomery, Alabama and raised over the dome of that first Confederate Capitol. (There were a few more iterations, in case you’re wondering.)

 

 

But wait. There’s more.

There’s also the Confederate States Navy Jack. Several variations on that theme, too. Also the Bonnie Blue Flag. It closely resembles the flag that was used as the banner of the Confederate States of America at the start of the Civil War in 1861. And of course, every state had its own flag, battle-wise. Many regiments had their own flag, too.

So if we’re going to get into the flag-banning business, can we at least make up our minds about which flag we’re deep-sixing?

Aw, heck. Why don’t we make it easy? Let’s ban every Confederate-ish flag, starting with the state flag of South Carolina, which, by the way, was the first state to secede. It looks like this:

And to be consistent, why not ban the flags of every state that was part of the Confederacy? Maybe we can move up to banning all 11 Confederate states, too? (So long Texas, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Tennessee, and Virginia. Nice knowin’ ya.) While we’re at it, how ‘bout we pillory every descendant of every Confederate officer? Just to be thorough.

That way we can get rid of or sideline anything, everything and anyone that offends the tender sensibilities of those great, stout-hearted libs who spend all day, every day stoking Ban It! Fever and being *offended* at… you name it.

Because here’s the deal: Once you dive into the *banning business,* where does it end? And who decides? BTW, one person – and only one person – is responsible for Roof’s heinous crime: Dylann Roof. Hello?

Then again, we could just cut to the chase with a minor revision of a Michael Jackson tune. Instead of “Beat it,” let’s replace that lyric with “Ban it.” It can be the Lib Theme Song – “It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or who’s right/Just ban it, ban it, just ban it, ban it…”

 

If you want to know more about Confederate flags, visit Confederate Stars and Bars. This page also includes Gen. Robert E. Lee’s Farewell to the Army of Northern Virginia. It’s brief but worth the read. Lee, by the way, is perhaps the most beloved general in the history of American war. Maybe we can ban him, too, as well as every monument, memorial and car that bears his name? Just to be thorough, of course.

 

Flag photo credits: Public domain, Wikipedia

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