Okay, class. Yours Truly has compiled a highly subjective, 100% scientific-free list of 21 tell-tale signs that you live in Grays Harbor. Any of these sound familiar? What would you add?
You know you live in Grays Harbor if you:
- Know the “bee hive” is a place to eat, not an apiary (look it up).
- Are on a first-name basis with Wal-Mart cashiers.
- Consider anyone from Seattle a “foreigner.”
- Know the four seasons are: Raining, Almost Raining, Still Raining, and Construction.
- Say “cougar” instead of “mountain lion.”
- Think a mile-long traffic snarl waiting for a bridge to go up and down is normal.
- Know The Daily World isn’t.
- Think 80 degrees is a “heat wave.” (It’s not. That’s just nicely thawed, okay?)
- Can zip through 10 chapters of Atlas Shrugged while waiting for the train to go by.
- Know there’s no indoor seating at the place in the above photo – and don’t care.
- Say “buck” a log instead of “chop” (why is this?)
- Know the most coveted parking spots are those nearest the awning.
- Call a male deer a “spike” instead of a “buck” (why is this again?)
- Think moss is a garden decoration.
- Have ever topped the Simpson Avenue bridge on a clear day and crowed, “The Mountain is out!”
- Recognize that the four basic food groups are: Mazatlan, Casa Mia, “Mallritos,” and Manny’s.
- Know that deer are the first to let you know your begonias are blooming.
- Think the first day of deer season should be a national holiday (see above).
- Can’t remember where you put your sun glasses.
- Can’t remember where you stashed your board shorts.
- Can’t remember what sun is. BTW, what are “shorts” again?
Bonus round: You live in Grays Harbor if you can correctly pronounce chinook, Hoquiam, and Chehalis.
There will be a quiz on Friday. Or whenever. Have a great weekend!