Best Headlines of 2015

Public domain
Public domain

All set to dive into 2016? Good. But before you do, join us for a quick fantasy retrospective of the year’s best headlines or wannabes from 2015 that weren’t – but coulda, woulda shoulda been. (Note to curmudgeons: This is a “spoof.” Sort of. Look it up.)

  1. Hillary Convicted! 5,000-Year Jail Terms Begins in January
  2.  Grays Harbor Ex-Mayors Ride Into Sunset Chuckling
  3.  Prince Valiant Gets a Life
  4.  County Commissioners Hold Hands, Sing Kum-by-Yah Around Campfire
  5.  Half of Hoquiam Slides Downhill, ORCAA Refunds Predatory Fees
  6.  Prince Valiant Finds His Horse
  7. New Monte Mayor Hosts Jitterbug Contest
  8. Lanes Reduced in Downtown Aberdeen – World Ends Tomorrow
  9.  Oil Trains Do No Harm!
  10.  Rubio Campaign Donor Takes Page from Doug Streeter Playbook (you’ll get this if you watched the Rose Bowl parade and looked up.)
  11.  Montesano Mayor-Elect Goes Rogue, Stands On Own Feet
  12.  Prince Valiant Finds Another Doughnut
  13.  Al Gore Doubles Down on ‘Climate Change’
  14. Coastal Caucus Lawmakers Take Action
  15.  County Coffers Flush, Sheriff’s Office Fully Staffed
  16.  19th L.D. Goes Red – First Time Since Earth’s Crust Cooled
  17.  Labor Unions Vow Transparency, Open Contract Negotiations to Public
  18. Doughnuts Find Prince Valiant
  19. Gov. Inslee Governs
  20.  Dan Wood Clears Middle School
  21.  Tyler Trimble Wins Paragon of Virtue Award – Film at Eleven
  22.  County Dems Move Party HQ to Detroit
  23. Prince Valiant Finds Anything
  24.  Thousands Flood County Media Sessions
  25. Flaky ‘GOP’ Officer Embraces The Dark Side
  26.  Donald Trump Shuts Up
  27.  Democrats Discover Thought
  28. Steve Harvey Crowns Doughnut Boy “Journalist of the Year”


Don’t laugh too hard. It could happen. Just sayin’  🙂