Hello, Hawkeye State!
Heading into Iowa, the GOP prez caucus contest is pretty much a three-horse race between Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio.
Interesting guy, The Donald. Love him or hate him, ya gotta give The Trumpster credit: He’s keeping things lively. So lively, in fact, that I’ve decided to compile a list of 12 Reasons Conservatives Should Support Donald Trump. Here they are, in no particular order:
- “We need something new. The same old, same old isn’t working.” That’s why electing someone to the presidency who has no legislative experience – zip, zero, nada – makes perfect sense. There’s also that “loose canon/shoot from the lip” thing. That, and Donald’s seemingly endless supply of sophomoric spectacles and stunts, all of which oughtta play well in Peoria.
- Donald is an “outsider.” Uh huh. That’s why the GOP establishment loves the guy.
- Donald has a foolproof plan to defeat ISIS. He just hasn’t quite gotten around to articulating it yet. Don’t worry. The Donald assures us that he plans to make ISIS “very, very nervous.” He just doesn’t say how.
- He is going to make America great again… again. See below.
- Donald’s progressive tax plan is true-blue conservative! Except for that part about how similar it is to Mr. Feel the Bern’s tax policies. But, hey! Just slap “Republican” on an otherwise lib tax plan and we’re good to go, right?
- He thinks “eminent domain” – government seizure of private property – is wonderful. Translation for libs: He thinks eminent domain – government seizure of private property – is wonderful.
- He’s pretty darn good at using vets as props.
- He speaks his mind – and he’s so likable. Charming. Mannerly. Polite. Gracious and self-effacing. Honey-lipped, with a voice like money. And always, always cool as a cucumber.
- Trump wants to get rid of President Pants on Fire’s signature train wreck, the UnAffordable Care Act – and replace it with single payer.
- If elected, he’s going to “do stuff.”
- Donald is so incredibly popular and Trumpanadoes so loyal, he could shoot someone and not lose voters.
- He’s solidly pro-life. Always has been. Like:
Wait. Did I say “12”? Okay. I fibbed. Saving the best for last:
Trump can stomp off-stage and diss Congress every time he doesn’t get his way. Like that’s never happened before. And it’ll work so well with Putin, Iran, and the Chinese.
“We are going to win so much.” Whatever that means. He’s a little short on details, but not to fret. Donald said it. Must be true.
You always know where Trump stands by… wherever he’s standing at the moment. He’s as constant as the weather. As solid as a bowlful of Jello.
“He says what I want to hear.” So did Mussolini. But who’s counting?
Donald, you’re so original (see below.)
Homework assignment (If you only have time for one piece, read the John Hawkins article.)
Paul Waldman: Donald Trump Will Soon Betray the GOP
John Hawkins: Why I’m Endorsing Ted Cruz for President
Michael Reagan: Trump is No Reagan Republican
There will be a quiz on Friday. If I get around to it. You never know.