Oh, that stupid carpet!
After Montesano Mayor Vini Samuel was called on the proverbial shag for being less than forthcoming regarding the total costs of her Great City Hall Makeover, she’s now blaming the “stupid carpet.”
Well, golly Moses! If the mayor has stooped to insulting carpet, what are we to do? Shall we send The Carpet to Shag School to elevate its I.Q.? Enroll it in Remedial Rug classes? Teach it to roll over and play fetch?
Maybe wall-to-wall runners can be coaxed into doing a few laps around the council chambers? What about a Persian Rug Factory in the city hall parking lot? Since there will be two less city employees soon due to the mendacious mayor’s “cut backs,” there should be plenty of extra space, right?
In the interest of boosting the local economy, how ‘bout drawing in tourist traffic with a “gently used” carpet sale at Saturday markets? What about launching Take Your Frivolous Floor Covering To Work Day – to show the peasants how it’s done?
While we’re at it, how do you think The Carpet feels about being called “stupid”? Will The Carpet file a grievance? Sue the city? Lodge a complaint with the Carpet Resources Commission alleging discrimination and hostile work environment?
Also, is The Carpet a carpet of color? What does the Equal Thread Count Opportunity Commission have to say about this? Will The Carpet & Co. contact Seattle news stations so they can send trucks down and park outside city hall? Will city employees be required to take Carpet Sensitivity training?
Quick! Call out the Bow Wow Brigade!
Image credit: Flickr – Creative Commons license