If Democrats Ran the Olympics

The curtain rang down on the Rio Olympics with Team USA winning the medal race by a wide margin. Powered by stratospheric performances from Simone Biles, Michael Phelps, Katy Ledecky, Allyson Felix and Matthew Centrowitz, Team USA harvested a bumper crop of medals, nabbing 46 gold and 121 medals overall.

Winning is contagious. Chants of USA! USA! swept through bleachers and stadiums like grains of sand on Copacabana beaches. The Stars and Stripes waved so many times at so many Olympic events, I lost count. It was enough to make a body stand up and cheer at nose-bleed volume (I’m hoping the neighbors’ ear drums have recovered).

Winning. It’s what Americans do. (Translation for libs: Winning. It’s what Americans do.)

The Olympic Games is a meritocracy. Doing well means endless hours of hard work. Discipline and sacrifice. Perseverance. Rugged individualism. You may have noticed that some segments of American society have yet to get that memo.

Here’s how the competition would likely look like if Democrats ran the Olympics:

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