I love being on the DNC mailing list. I get so much cool… um… stuff. Like this puppy. Popped into my In Box tonight. Subject line was, “Happy birthday, mom.” It goes like:
My mom loves birthdays — and today is her special day! Happy birthday, mom! Please help celebrate my mom’s birthday by signing her card:
SIGN THE CARD
Thank you so much!
Alright, alright. I beat back the urge to grab the nearest barf bag. Then I got to thinking. This could be kinda fun. I mean, hey! Why squander the opportunity to share some *LUV* with the Marquise de Kleptocratia? I know you won’t want to miss this. And since I’m such a nice lady and all, I won’t even hog all the fun myself. I’m sharing. See?
So let’s make it a “group project.” I know, I know. It sounds so junior high. But remember, we’re talking Democrats here. So I’ll give you a few options to get the creative juices flowing. You know. Just for fun. Then you’re on your own:
- The secret to staying young? Lie about your age. And your private email server. And your Foundation. Ditto Travelgate. Cattle futures. Gennifer and Monica. Castle Grande. Billing records. Foreign donors. And… Well. Shoot. Just lie about everything. As usual.
- Birthday? You mean a new personal record for most corruption in one lifetime?
- Would love to wish you many happy returns, but what difference does it make?
- Way to go, Clinocchio.
- Another birthday, dear? Blame it on a bad YouTube video.
Your turn. How would you sign the Marquise de Kleptocratia’s birthday card? What would you say? (Kindly remember that this is a G-rated blog. Translation: Kindly remember that this is a G-rated blog.)
P.S.: If you haven’t already checked it out, take a gander at #FaithTrumpsFear. Trending on social media. Boom.