‘If You Give a Mao a Cookie’ – The Sequel

You didn’t really expect Governor Mao to rescind, repeal, or substantively revise his Stay Home order at Friday’s presser, did you?

I mean, hey. Following one of the sorriest presidential runs ever fumbled, Jay Inslee has to do something to keep his mug in the news, right? Besides. Why “allow” Washingtonians to resume normal activities. Normal lives. Normal business practices? Not when we’re having so much fun with threats, fear-mongering, and government tyranny dressed up as “safety.”

Scott Olson/Getty Images

I reluctantly complied with Governor Mao’s initial Stay Home, Stay Healthy order as long as it was limited, temporary, and based in reality.


All are now subject to question. In fact, now that The Man Who Would Be King is wandering around La La Land, all of those caveats are out the window.

Indeed, the pretexts for Inslee’s draconian policies, allegedly to “flatten the COVID-19 curve,” have proven disastrous in many respects. Additionally, many of the dire prognostications about the China flu have fallen flat. I’m not going to recount those here. You can read that for yourself elsewhere.

Then there’s this from Jay. Via KUOW:


“The reality we need to be aware of is this: We are going to have to steel ourselves against this virus for quite some time,” Inslee said. “It is going to affect our daily lives in many ways for months. And we have to be aware that it could come at us in waves.”

The governor also reiterated that the need for widespread Covid-19 testing — a key tool for determining when it’s safe to lift social distancing orders — is still going unmet in Washington.


Did you catch that last part of paragraph one? “It is going to affect our daily lives in many ways for months”?

Earth to Inlsee: Maybe you’ve got “months” to hole up in the guv’s mansion contemplating royal edicts. But working Washingtonians don’t. Or maybe that’s the whole idea?


Also notice “the need for widespread Covid-19 testing” as a caveat for determining when it’s “safe” to lift “social distancing” orders.

You could drive a truck through that.

Greetings, Komrade

Indeed, the current situation in the People’s Republik of Washington is consistent with the ideology and public policy of the majority party in Olympia and their willing lackeys in the cartoon media.


This isn’t surprising to anyone who’s been paying attention for any length of time – say, 20 minutes or so. In fact, it’s predictable. Here are two works that did just that. All reviewed here on Conservelocity. Check out the links:



Yes, friends. As many suspected all along, the “coronavirus” was never really about a virus. It’s about Big Government expanding its tentacles into every aspect of your life.


Doing the Math

On Friday, Gov. Mao announced “there will be a four-stage phase in for lifting of restrictions, starting with allowing retail curbside pickup, automobile sales and car washes by mid-May.” There will be “a minimum of three weeks between each phase.” Read more about Herr Inslee’s “four phases” here.

The words” the state will allow” appear in conjunction with this “phased approach.” Excuse me?

Doing the Math

Regarding the dates that “the state will allow” the peasants to resume select activities, there are so many “maybes” and “coulds” and qualifiers, you could drive a semi through the Inslee “approach.” But let’s do the squishy math, just for kicks and grins, shall we?


  • Phase 1: May 15-ish + three-ish weeks = June 5 – ish
  • Phase 2: June 6-ish + three-ish weeks = June 27-ish
  • Phase 3: June 28-ish + three-ish weeks = July 19-ish
  • Phase 4: Juy 20-ish + three-ish weeks = August 10-ish


Conservative, squishy estimates, all. Subject to change. Or whenever the rest of the Blue Coast guvs do Inslee’s thinking for him.


But if these dates or something similar plays out, the summer campaign season leading into November has just been pretty much zeroed out.


Memorial Day weekend? Yeah. That.


That June 1 signature-gathering deadline to dump the CSE monstrosity Governor Mao signed into law? Good luck with that one.


And oh, yeah. Washington’s top two primary takes place on August 4. In fact, per the Secretary of State’s office, there are quite a few major events taking place in August.


Probably just coincidences.

Oh, and those “variances” for which King Jay has so magnanimously allowed the peasants to apply? The ones allowing some counties to “move to a less restrictive phase before the rest of the state?” Per Healthy Grays Harbor:


Today Governor Jay Inslee announced an extension of his Stay Home, Stay Healthy order until May 31, 2020.  Governor Inslee also shared details of his Plan to Re-open Washington.

The plan includes the opportunity for counties that have not had any new COVID-19 cases in the past 3 weeks to apply for a variance that would allow them to move to a less restrictive phase before the rest of the state.

At this time, Grays Harbor County is eligible to apply for a variance. However, before a variance can be approved by Washington State Secretary of Health, Grays Harbor County must submit a plan that demonstrates the readiness and capacity of our local health care and public safety systems in four key areas.


Read that again. That’s okay. I’ll wait.


Did you catch it? Before a variance “can be approved”? The county “must submit”? What are we, serfs of the state? Oh, wait:



If you take a gander at the “four key areas” metric, it seems designed to preclude an early “reopen.” Why is that?

The Bottom Line

Be responsible. Take reasonable precautions. Protect yourself. Protect your family. Don’t act like an idiot.


But I’ll be John Browned if I’m going to put up with this “the state will allow” crap for one more minute. Cuz ya know what’s next from Govenor Mao? Well. He’s gonna want a “glass of milk…”


Call AG Barr’s hotline to file a Constitution violation complaint against Jay Inslee.  The number is 202.514.2000. Select option 4. State your name and that you’re a Washington state resident. Urge AG Barr to investigate Inslee for violating the constitutional rights of Washingtonians.  It takes just a couple minutes. If you talk slow:



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