Dear Kavanaugh Hearing Hecklers:
We see you. We hear you. And we’re laughing at you.
Because you’re hilarious. Because your attempts to smear an eminently qualified jurist and disrupt a Senate committee hearing put you and your agenda on full display as bankrupt, desperate, and in dire need of a nanny. Because you’ve also provided beaucoup reasons why not to take you or your ideologies seriously.
Missing your coloring books and nap time much?
(I’m not going to include a video link or anything else chronicling your rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth antics. Your off-the-rails lunacy. Because you don’t rate it. After all, you got paid for your fifteen seconds of fame. Frankly, that’s about $49.99 more than your performance is worth.)
Let us guess, heckleristas. You eat tofu. Drive a Prius. Haven’t figured out that the bearded, bereted Cuban on your T-shirt was a mass murderer. Have never heard of Solzenhitsyn. The old Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. Think Venezuela is a model economy. That someone else will pay for all your “free” stuff. That the First, Second, Fourth and Tenth Amendments are suggestions. That government gets to pick winners and losers instead of ensuring a level playing field for equal competition. You can’t define “essential principles” with a dictionary. Can’t find a real job so you show up at Senate hearings. You blame it on a bad video. Think you can still “keep your doctor.” (Oh, and Sen. Booker? According to Senate rules, the consequences for releasing committee confidential documents include losing your seat. Please God.)
This crap is your best shot? Really, hecklers? Cuz you’re pathetic. Laughable. And possibly the best comedy act since Abbott and Costello’s Who’s on First?
So thanks, losers. Thanks for showing us how easy it is to out-class Dick Durbin & Co. What ignorance and intolerance really look like. That you and your allies in the Party of Debt, Dependency and Decay haven’t had a new idea since Woodrow Wilson.
Thanks for showing us the utter hypocrisy and bigotry of the Democratic Party. What Christophohia and originalism-obia look like. Ditto bad manners, sore losers, too much tofu and sheer stupidity. Aka in Lefty quarters: “Thursday.”
Thanks for showing the whole world your true colors. How Leftista looney tunes look and sound. Again.
Thank you for giving thinking Americans more reasons to boot your ideological cronies out of office in November.
And thanks for giving Brett Kavanaugh the chance to shine. To show that he knows his stuff backwards and forwards and upside down. That he’s a profile in courage who keeps his cool under pressure. Which is a whole lot more than we can say of you. Because he’s not going to get Borked. Deal with it.
Now. Go pick up your room and take out the trash. By the way, we’re cutting your allowance. And you’re going to need to move out of the basement. So start looking for a real job.
Mom and Dad