‘If You Give a Mao a Cookie’ – The Sequel

You didn’t really expect Governor Mao to rescind, repeal, or substantively revise his Stay Home order at Friday’s presser, did you?

I mean, hey. Following one of the sorriest presidential runs ever fumbled, Jay Inslee has to do something to keep his mug in the news, right? Besides. Why “allow” Washingtonians to resume normal activities. Normal lives. Normal business practices? Not when we’re having so much fun with threats, fear-mongering, and government tyranny dressed up as “safety.”

Scott Olson/Getty Images

I reluctantly complied with Governor Mao’s initial Stay Home, Stay Healthy order as long as it was limited, temporary, and based in reality.


All are now subject to question. In fact, now that The Man Who Would Be King is wandering around La La Land, all of those caveats are out the window.

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Tired of Gov. Inslee’s Closures?

Are Washingtonians tiring of Gov. Mao’s “Thou Shall Not” list related (ostensibly) to COVID-19?

It seems so. Especially as the weather improves and cabin fever leaps into the stratosphere. (The shuttering of private businesses and throwing zillions of Washingtonians onto the unemployment rolls as well as government over-reach related to the China flu is a topic for another post.)


Take the closure of outdoor recreation sites. State and national parks. No fishing. Hunting. Picnicking. Swimming. Bicycling. Boating. Breathing. (Seriously? How likely is it that any boater will get within six feet of another boater on a lake the size of Rhode Island?)


Stupid on Steroids

These closures aren’t just nonsensical. They’re stupid on steroids.


Most outdoor lovers I know aren’t looking to hang with the herd. They want to get away from the crowd. The further, the better. They’re typically not just six feet away from the next human. They’re more like six miles. Or maybe 60.


Indeed, maintaining a several-foot distance away from another person is significantly easier to do in The Great Outdoors than it is in say, Wal-Mart. Hello?


So I called and emailed Governor Inslee’s office on the subject today. Got a message saying they’re “unusually busy in our office at the moment.” Gee. I wonder why?


The next voice mail message – still no real person yet – was a detailed list of how you, too can snitch on  friends, Romans and fellow countrymen if you suspect them of “non-compliance” with the guv’s Stay Home order.


Then I was told, by message, that I was caller #17.  Ditto that “our office is unusually busy.”


Then it was “Press 1 now to record a message on the comment line.” Pressing 1 takes you to a promo for the census: Take the census. You count. Be counted.


I’m not making this up.


About a year later I finally reached the guv’s comment line. Did he get an earful.


Chime In

Want to chime in? If you have the patience, leave the guv a phone message at: 360-902-4111. Or send him an email here.

Lemme know how that works for ya, okay?

Novel Questions on the Coronavirus from The People’s Republik of Washington

Fear and panic do not good government make. Ditto sound public policy. Even during a national “public health emergency.” Additionally, a free and open society cannot long exist when vague, indeterminate lockdown orders are in play for an extended, unspecified period of time. Nor can an economy power up when select “non-essential” businesses are shuttered by government and employees are told to stay home.

I’ve kept mostly mum on the whole coronavirus/Wuhan flu/civil rights and personal liberties debate for a while. I’ve been listening. Observing. Here are some select thoughts on same:

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